46% of you could be baited by a bear’s lifestyle

Look, all I’m saying here is that bears have it pretty good. Let me walk you through the yearly routine of a bear. When they wake up in spring they sit around and eat some berries, some small animals, and scratch their backs on trees. Then in the summer they do basically the same, then around fall when the salmon start migrating, the bears get to feast on some fatty fish. Then as winter rolls around they go to sleep until it’s spring. How nice is that? I could definitely be baited by the bear’s lifestyle, could you?


I laid out the bear lifestyle above, so you already know how nice it is. I’m actually surprised only 46% of people who responded said they would be a bear. Seriously, half the year eating, half the year sleeping, what else do you want? What else is there to life?


Alright, obviously you think being a human is cool or something. I bet you’re the type of person that thinks humans are different from animals or have a soul or something. What’s the difference between humans and animals? An overactive pre-frontal cortex? So we can do what? Kill the environment until we can’t live on the earth anymore and have to go to Mars? Big brain time, kill where you’re currently living and then move to another planet entirely. Okay kids. Other animals and plants will be alive long after our species goes extinct, and I bet one of those is gonna be bears. Or if not bears, at least crocodiles, those things have been around forever.

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