September 14th, 2020 – Question 861

Which big cat are you? This one’s a fun one, I listed 5 big cats to see what people think of them. I’m not sure if people put much thought into this like, did you think to yourself, “oh, I wonder which of these cats I’m most like?” or did you just pick your favorite?

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Cheetah

The fastest animal on land. If you chose this you probably chose this because of this one fact. I remember in elementary school I would always hear this about cheetahs, also random kids in my year were pretty obsessed with going fast. Zoom Zoom motherfucker. Also this is what I hear about cheetahs in every nature documentary they’re in, and I watch a lot of nature documentaries. Yeah, this is also the only thing I really know about cheetahs. Oh, right, also they whip their tails back and forth to maintain balance. If Willow Smith were a cheetah we would have had “I whip my tail back and forth, I whip my tail back and forth”

Leopard

Leopards are the smallest of the large cats, they are also the most elusive. Their spots help them blend in in their natural environment, making spotting them pretty difficult. I’m not sure what you know about leopards, but this is most of what I know. So, maybe you’re small and you like to blend in?

The biggest leopards in the world are in Sri Lanka (I think), and since they’re the only large cat in the area, they’re the apex predator, and unlike leopards in most other areas, they will sit out in the open!

Lion

King of the jungle! Lions don’t live in jungles though, lions live on the plains. Lions are the sole social species of big cats. They live in prides whereas the other big cats are solitary creatures. Lions probably do this because their prey is bigger than them, faster than them, and usually grouped up. If you chose this because you want to pet a Lion’s mane, then same. If you chose this because you’re a fan of the Detroit Lions, I’m sorry for your loss. My other reason for choosing lions is that these guys basically hang out with each other and sleep for 20 hours a day, and I’m so jealous.

Puma

Yeah, I’m not even sure what a puma really is. Puma’s are also known as cougars, bobcats, mountain lions, and panthers from what I understand. Lots of different names for basically the same animal living in different locations. If we did this with people we’d have Americans, Europeans, Asians, etc. (oh wait …) Maybe you chose this because you’re familiar with the athletic wear brand “Puma”. I don’t really know. I don’t know much about puma’s and I have no idea why 25% of y’all chose this. Are you all solitary, nocturnal hunters that live in the mountains?

Tiger

The strongest cat. Sometimes I see these tiger vs lion things, and in a fight, we all know a tiger would win. Tigers are solitary hunters, and bigger than lions. Also tigers have some of the densest muscle mass of any big cat. They are the true king of the jungles, since they actually live in some heavily forested areas. You would think that tigers might develop some sort of camouflage that’s green or something considering their environment, but nope they’re like orange/black/white. Also, something real interesting is that Tigers have these spots on the back of their ears that make them look like eyes from the back. Some scientists think this is to deter predators, kind of like the way that butterflies have eyes on their wings. Whatever the hell a tiger thinks a predator is, I don’t want to run into.

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